tata surya

Yesterday I was robbed at a bus stop. It was a quick and easy grab for him because I was preoccupied. He walked over and swiped my phone out of my hand. (DAMN MY WHITE IPHONE4 + CATH KIDSTON SHELL BLARRGGHHHH RAGE. OTL)

It was pretty hard to sleep yesterday night while I kept replaying the moment where he grabbed it. I kept wishing,replaying and cursing that I had kicked him in the leg, or something - Something that showed I fought back and it mattered.

I guess I was most exasperated in the fact that I was no match for him and people just stood around and TAKE A VIDEO/PHOTO OF HIM WHILE I RUN AFTER HIM. oh fucking assholes.

I did a 5 minute goose chase while he jump fences and into the back alley. I stopped and ran into an shop to ask for a phone. I an extremely calm person when it comes to crisis and stressful situation. I tend to outlet a very composed manner but I cannot help but lose my shit on the phone and raised my voice while talking to my parents/uncle. (I was unsure what to do— didn’t know if I should actually call the police since the guy only stole a phone…ugh dumb but it seemed such a small thing at the time)

By the time the police came, I was calm but inside of my body cannot help but be a little shaken. It was quite a fleeting feeling from disbelief to frustration.

The bus ride home was quite out of the body experience. It felt like I was still dreaming and just doing my daily routine. I was ready to be scold but I was only showered with concern. Thinking back to the moment I returned home, my behaviour was quite self centered. I should have thanked them but instead i was still baww booo and frustrated about the situation.

I had no time to debrief since I had to rush into completing a project— had to force myself to sleep a bit before waking up this morning to finish it. I feel the lack of time spent on dwelling in the event made it easier for my mind to wander off into the subject. What i should have done— I guess it’s the sense of defeat I am most hung up about. It was the fact that my effort to chase him down was not even a concern for him. It would have felt so much better if i was able to at least slap him.

Will this event impact my personality. Yes it will. I am usually pretty relaxed but this really made me realize how unprepared I am for this. Alert at all times.

Well that is all I have to say for now. I gotta deal with the aftermath today boo.